Beradiva believes that “Loving yourself first is the key to true love”. Before we begin, lemme discuss briefly the quotation above.
Why Self-Love Is The Key To Finding True Love
The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others, Don’t sacrifice everything about yourself in an effort to try to please another being because you may end up hurting yourself the most. Do away with the miserable feeling; Stop doubting yourself, and feeling disrespected. Don’t let someone else control your decisions, emotions, and self-worth.
Deep love comes from within, you will never be satisfied just with love from someone else. If you don’t authentically love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to truly love you. The way you treat yourself shows others how you expect to be treated.
In order to truly love someone, you must first understand the nature of love and how to define it as said illustrated above.
Though your feelings towards yourself may have nothing to do with the way you perceive someone you love, the fact remains that you cannot give yourself completely over to someone unless you feel secure and stable with who you are. Loving yourself means recognizing your good qualities, and acknowledging that those are the things that define you as a person. The experience of loving yourself isn’t comparable to love for another, but it is a strong step in the right direction.
Love requires a significant emotional investment. While loving someone is not always a matter of choice, it may be worth taking a look at the connection you have with a given person and thinking about how loving them might affect you. While this step may sound like a warning, it’s actually a positive step toward loving them. If you struggle with feeling love, justifying it on a logical basis can be a positive step forward.
Refusing to be realistic about your feelings may be a sign of infatuation, so be warned.
Open yourself to the possibility of being hurt
With all love comes the risk of potentially having those feelings turned against you. Defence mechanisms may arise as a way to protect us from the possibility of loving someone. In order to love fully, you need to push past this doubt and realize that love is worth all of the risks you take in pursuing it.
Positive self-talk is a good way to get past this fear. If you are ever in doubt, don’t be afraid to tell yourself aloud: “Love is worth the risk of being hurt.” Living in fear is itself a form of pain. If you’re able to train yourself to let go of that, you’ll be much better in the long run.
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Feel the love as an addiction
You have probably heard the metaphor comparing love to a drug, but as far as brain chemistry goes, that is somewhat true. When you love someone, you become addicted to their presence. If you focus on all of the good things about someone, you will become increasingly excited to see them again.
“Love is an addiction that should manifest itself as missing that person terribly while you’re apart. Don’t be around a person in a possessive, unhealthy way.”
Expressing Love through Action
- Express your love in words
Arguably the most obvious way of showing love is through words of affirmation. This can range anything from a simple “I love you” to a more elaborate passage about all the things you admire about the person you love. This applies to love in friendships as much as romantic arrangements.
Often, saying “I love you,” says more than most anything else, if only for the fact that people have placed so much emphasis on those three words.
If you truly love someone, feel happy for their happiness, don’t let your own jealousies into the mix.
- Use physical touch to your advantage
Touch can be used for a wide variety of positive effects. While the benefits would seem most apparent in a romantic connection, love may be demonstrated in all types of love. Depending on the type of connection you have with someone you love, physical affection may come naturally, and it may be reciprocated in turn. Physical touch feels good and helps promote good feelings between both of you.
Kissing and cuddling are best suited to show romantic love.
A handshake or a hug can demonstrate platonic love.
- Make a habit of gift-giving
Gifts are a great thing if you want to express your love to someone. While words go a long way, a gift is a concrete sign of your affection. Gifts can be as small or as big as you want. The important thing is that the gift was given with sincere feelings behind it.
The types of gifts you might give depends on the type of love you’re expressing:
- Flowers are a very common gift to give to a romantic lover.
Less symbolic gifts, like concert tickets, may be given to friends or family.
- Small thoughtful gifts, like homemade cards or picked flowers, can mean a lot to anyone.
Spend quality time with them.
Give the person you love your full, undivided attention when you’re together. Try to eliminate any distractions coming between you and your loved one. Avoid using your phone or electronics to make your loved one feel special.
Practice active listening when your loved one is talking by maintaining eye contact and processing what they’re saying. Don’t talk over or interrupt them.
Have a board game night or go on a date night to a place you’ve never been before so you can have fun.
Perform acts of service for your loved one
Sometimes, doing chores or helping out around the house will show someone that you care and love them. Even if it’s out of your way, take some time to do the thing that your loved one hates doing all the time. They’ll be sure to appreciate it.
For example, if your loved one is very busy and doesn’t have time to wash the dishes, consider doing them to ease their workload.
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